


something just like this

by FebruarySong



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Everybody Lives, F/M, Fluff, and immediately have to separate because they don't know how to human, but as soon as they realize it's a Thing they turn into awkward potatoes, but i decided to let them Rest, case in point: that bit after getting through the security ring over scarif, i still think these two unsocialized nerds would be pretty terrible at like. simple romantic stuff, they're fine if they don't think about it too hard, this was originally going to be five times they were BAD at casual affection, when she touches his arm and they're like HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 17:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13171599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FebruarySong/pseuds/FebruarySong
Summary: Five times Jyn and Cassian stick to casual displays of affection, and one time they don’t.





	something just like this

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imgoingtocrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingtocrash/gifts).



> This was written for the Rebelcaptain Secret Santa gift exchange, and my recipient was imgoingtocrash with the prompt of casual displays of affection. She gave five examples, which is what inspired the structure of this story. It’s set in an everybody-lives universe where the Rebellion is still very much happening, but I totally ignore the canon timeline so I can cherry-pick characters and settings to make it a fun ensemble backing cast ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Many, many thanks to incognitajones and indigoumbrella for looking it over, and shout-out to whindsor for her advice about medical stuff. It takes a village!

_one._  


The first night Cassian spends on Echo Base, it takes ages for him to fall asleep. For one thing, the entire planet is a block of ice and no amount of layers can make him feel warm. For another, Jyn’s been on assignment with the Pathfinders since before the Rebellion set up camp here, and some small part of him worries that she won’t be able to find her way to their new home.

Finally, he drifts into an uneasy sleep – only to jerk awake at the chime of his door control and then the _swish_ of it opening. Cassian is halfway upright by the time Jyn says, “It’s just me,” in the darkness.

He flicks on a light and it illuminates her hunched under a parka like it’s a blanket, her arms curled up inside the torso instead of in the sleeves. His uneasiness melts into relief just at the sight of her.

“Move over,” she whispers, her breath making white clouds even though he has a heater on.

“Are you alright?” he asks, already shifting even though there’s really not enough room for two on this mattress.

“I’m freezing,” she replies through chattering teeth.

He jams himself on his side with his back pressed against the wall, and the cold duracrete immediately makes him tense. Jyn toes out of her boots, sheds the parka, and crawls under the blankets next to him in one fluid motion.

“You _are_ freezing,” he says now that he has something cold on _both_ sides of him.

She drags the covers all the way up to her eyes. He can feel her cold nose and hands through his thermal undershirt as she tucks into his chest, seeking warmth.

“What happen–” He ends in a strangled yelp, recoiling away so sharply that the headboard rattles against the wall when she puts her frigid feet over his.

“Sorry.” Her voice is muffled under the blankets.

Cassian can’t seem to unclench his body, mostly because the cot is too small to escape her absolutely glacial toes even though she’s trying to stuff them into the opposite corner. He puts his free arm over her, angling himself away from the wall and its chill that has seeped into his bones. Jyn’s shivering pauses for a moment then resumes, albeit a little less intensely.

“I missed you,” she says, peeking up to smile at him with sleepy eyes half covered by her unruly fringe.

“You too–” He stifles a hiss as the coldest feet in the galaxy inexorably creep back to his.

“Sorry,” she whispers again, but doesn’t move them this time. Her shivering has slowed to just the occasional tremor. “I thought officers got bigger beds.”

“They usually do. There was a mix-up, and I didn’t want to request a replacement without explaining…”

“This,” Jyn supplies the end of his sentence. It hadn’t been solely her decision to keep _this_ a secret, but he had resolved at the beginning to follow her lead about it and so far, she hasn’t acknowledged anything publically – which is not to say that the rumour mill hasn’t been in overdrive since they got back from Scarif.

(Sneaking into each other’s rooms more nights than most probably doesn’t help.)

“Yes, this,” Cassian agrees, shifting his weight another fraction of an inch to get more comfortable.

She’s silent for so long that he wonders if she’s fallen asleep until she says, “Put in the request. I miss your old bed.”

“First thing in the morning,” he promises.

Now that she’s warming up, she steadily gets heavier as drowsiness falls across her body. Cassian wants to ask how her mission went, but the questions will keep until morning. She wouldn’t be this relaxed if anything went too awry.

“Welcome home, Jyn,” he murmurs instead. He’d like to kiss her, but there’s not much he can reach without accidentally shoving her off the bed. He frowns at the top of her head before settling for an awkwardly placed peck on her forehead.

He feels as much as hears her sigh of contentment, and after a few moments her breathing lengthens into the slow, steady rhythm of sleep.

 

 

 _two._  


It’s rare to have briefings with more than a handful of people, but once every standard month all the principal players from relevant missions meet for a sort of round-robin of intel. Jyn _hates_ when she has to attend – especially this time, because Cassian gets to leave early.

There’s a big gathering today. The Alliance has been busy, so the amount of information is almost mind-numbing. Jyn is starting to slump in her chair when Cassian nudges her boot with his. She glances over and realizes it’s time for him to leave. It was addressed ahead of time that he had a schedule conflict midway through, so there’s no need to interrupt the whole meeting.

Quietly pushing his chair back, he stands to go, somehow unobtrusive to the rest of the room while Jyn can’t seem to tear her eyes off his lean body. He frowns apologetically for leaving, and leans down to give her a peck goodbye.

He does it thoughtlessly like he has a hundred times before in the privacy of their quarters – except this is _not_ private, and now it’s too late to change course. Jyn can practically see the realization (and dismay) spark in his eyes the instant before his lips touch hers, which makes for the most wooden, awkward kiss in the known universe.

For one suspenseful second, Jyn hopes that no one noticed.

But there’s a deafening silence. Everybody is staring at them, with the exception of Luke (who is trying to hide a smile behind his hand), Mon Mothma (who is not trying to hide her smile), and Bodhi (who actually has their backs and is pretending he didn’t see anything).

Cassian is clearly at a loss, but he covers it with a curt nod to Draven before leaving as if nothing happened.

“What?” Jyn bristles despite herself as the door swishes shut behind him and no one says anything. Maybe she and Cassian were keeping it quiet at first, but they aren’t anymore. Get over it.

“Hey kid, we all have needs,” Han says, shrugging theatrically. “Just try to keep that kind of overwhelming passion in the bedroom where it belongs, alright?”

“You’re one to talk,” Jyn snarls under her breath, but Han doesn’t have a chance to deliver a cutting reply before Draven clears his throat and picks up where the meeting left off.

Resigning herself to another boring hour or two, Jyn hunches back down and avoids eye contact in case anyone gives her a knowing grin. Still, she can’t help the smile that steals across her own face.

 

 

 _three._  


The first time Cassian tries to hold Jyn’s hand, she almost jumps out of her skin.

He wasn’t really sure about it in the first place, so her reaction makes him almost jump out of his skin, too.

“Sorry,” he says at the exact same time that she asks, “What was that?”

They’d been walking out of his quarters to the canteen for breakfast, but he may as well have detonated a bomb between them for how far apart they’re standing now. Jyn’s look is half quizzical, half apologetic, and she takes a step closer.

 _I wanted to hold your hand_. The words die on his tongue. He’s seen civilian couples do it a million times before, and thought nothing of it except to categorize it as a normal behavior. The fact that now, at the end of his twenties, is the first time he’s held hands with a girl is a little ridiculous.

It’s easy to fall back on his long reserves of becoming inconspicuous instead of explaining himself. Cassian waves a dismissive hand and resumes walking. “It’s nothing.”

“You startled me,” Jyn explains, falling into step beside him. “The last time you grabbed my hand, we were running from stormtroopers.”

He summons a smile. “I didn’t _grab_ it just now.”

She doesn’t reply for a moment. Her lips twist in the way that tells him she’s thinking about something. “My parents used to do that. Just – hold each other’s hand.”

“Hey,” he says seriously as he bumps into her shoulder a little, wondering if this is how nervous and giddy teenagers feel with their first love. “I’m coming in.”

She wrinkles her brow up at him only to crack a grin when he takes her hand again, this time with fair warning. She flexes it, and for a second he thinks she’s going to pull away from his grasp. But she slots her fingers between his instead.

“I didn’t take you for the romantic type,” she says with a teasing grin, which is funny because he _wasn’t_ until he met someone he wanted to romance.

“Don’t get used to it,” he says, but there’s no bite in the warning.

Jyn just squeezes his hand in reply.

 

 

 _four._  


Jyn steps off the loading ramp, relieved to be back at Echo Base even if it’s colder than the void ten times over. Thankfully she wasn’t the lead on this mission, so she doesn’t have to go to debrief. She pulls her scarf up over her nose, already dreaming about the hot shower in her immediate future.

The hangar bay is about half full; she remembers Bodhi saying that a few squadrons of pilots would be out drilling formations and maneuvers today. Cassian’s ship catches her attention and she changes course toward it, since she can see that the engine is still revving down. He was due back much earlier this morning, but it looks like he landed no more than twenty minutes ago.

She pokes her head in the open hatchway, but only sees Kaytoo finalizing the shutdown diagnostics.

“Where’s Cassian?” she asks, expecting the droid to say with Draven or Mon Mothma.

Kaytoo swivels his head to look at her with those blank, glowing eyes. “Cassian was transported to the medbay immediately upon arrival.”

Jyn’s stomach drops out from underneath her. “What?”

He starts to respond, but she’s already gone, legs eating up the ground in strides just short of running. She won’t allow herself to panic. This is not the first time either of them has landed in the medbay. She’s not going to careen through the halls at a frantic sprint to get to him.

(She maybe runs just a little when she’s not passing someone by.)

The medbay doors swish open to her impatient jabs on the control panel, revealing a fairly quiet ward with a few med-droids hovering about on various tasks. Half hidden behind a privacy screen, Cassian is seated on a cot, looking small and tired. His right arm is in a sling, and his left is turned upright on his thigh to not jostle the sensor patch connected to his inner elbow.

His eyes crinkle with a smile when he sees her. Jyn sits gingerly next to him, trying to gauge how much pain he’s in. It’s hard not to go back in time to right after Scarif, when one of his ribs had punctured a lung and he couldn’t even breathe on his own.

“Welcome home,” he says quietly, bringing her back to the present.

“What happened?”

Just then a droid whirs over to remove the sensor from Cassian’s arm.

“What did you call it?” he asks the droid as it sterilizes his wrist and injects a hypospray.

“An acromioclavicular joint separation grade three and acute clavicula fracture,” it informs them helpfully before whirring away.

“How about in Basic?” Jyn asks dryly.

“Broken clavicle and ruptured shoulder ligaments,” he replies. “I was caught in the crossfire between some local troublemakers and troopers. Some rubble fell on me. It was just bad luck.”

He can make it sound like nothing, but he must have a tapestry of bruises and cuts under his shirt. Now that she knows what to look for, she sees telltale scrapes peeking out of his collar at the back of his neck. Seeing him bloodied makes a fierce, animalistic protectiveness well up in her chest, so strong it’s hard to swallow.

“Hey,” Cassian says in that low voice she likes to think he saves just for her. He wraps his uninjured arm around her shoulders, the weight of his hand warm and welcome on her arm.

Jyn reaches across her chest to twine her fingers into his and tucks herself into his half-embrace. “I’m glad you’re back.”

He rests his chin on top of her head. “Me too.”

 

 

 _five_.  


Cassian is nearly done packing when Jyn lets herself into his room. Comms picked up a deeply buried subspace signal from one of his informants twenty minutes ago, and he’s leaving in another ten. Kaytoo is already prepping the ship; there’s no time for much of a goodbye.

His gear is laid out on the bed, but Jyn curls up cross-legged at the foot of it, hunched with hers elbows on her knees – she’s only graceful in a fight. “How long?” she asks, since it’s really the only thing he can tell her. Who, and where, and why is always classified.

“It shouldn’t take longer than five or six days,” he replies as he rolls up the last spare shirt and tucks it into his jump bag. “I’ll try to comm if it will be longer.”

“I’ll be offworld then, on a supply run for bacta.” There’s a bitter inflection in her voice; they were supposed to both be on Base for the next four days. After several months of snatched moments together between assignments, that had seemed like a vacation.

“Hey,” he says softly, pausing from packing to brush some of her fringe out of her eyes. “It’s just a check-in with an informant. I’ll be waiting for you when you get back from your supply run.”

“I know,” Jyn replies with a half-smile that he can tell is forced. “I just – I miss you.”

His rational mind had anticipated moments like this when they first committed to each other, but the sting of leaving her still takes his breath away every time. To distract himself, he turns his attention to his gear, giving everything a once-over. Both blasters are in working order, the toolkit in his boot is complete, and the capsule hidden in the compartment above his vest pocket is within its expiry date.

“What’s that?” Jyn asks, her voice casual but her eyes cooling into stoniness.

He clicks the compartment shut so that it looks like a personal identifier transponder again. “It’s a lullaby pill,” he says, and doesn’t meet her hard stare.

“A suicide pill, you mean,” she says. Whether she meant to or not, it comes out as an accusation and hangs in the air between them.

“The Empire can make anyone talk if they’re captured,” he says, feeling more tired than he has in a long time as he shrugs the vest on. “I’m an intelligence officer for the Alliance. It’s better that I don’t talk.”

Her eyes haven’t left the hidden compartment, now sitting against his chest. He hasn’t seen her look this stricken since he dragged her away from Galen Erso’s body on Eadu.

“Jyn,” he says, even though he’s not sure what to say – just that he wants _her_ to say that she understands. They put themselves into grave danger with every mission; how had this failsafe never occurred to her? “Jyn –”

His commlink chirps with Kaytoo’s modified binary code that the ship is ready, making Cassian flinch and Jyn look away. Her jaw is clenched. She’s probably trying not to cry – or hiding eyes that have already gone red-rimmed. Not for the first time, he damns the war and his responsibilities in it.

“I’ll see you in a few days,” he murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. She sucks in a breath and nods, but doesn’t speak.

He drags himself out of her gravitational pull, regretting every step that takes him away from her.

 

 

 _and one_.  


“Any word–” The question has barely formed on Jyn’s lips when General Draven cuts her off without even looking up from his datapad.

“No.” He taps something on the screen, seemingly engrossed in the task at hand. “Might I remind you, Sergeant Erso, that communication blackouts are common for intelligence operations in order to protect the identities of both the mark _and_ the agent involved.”

Jyn’s teeth ache for how hard she is grinding them. “Understood, sir.”

It was a bad idea to go to Draven for an update, anyway. She will _never_ forgive him for giving orders that killed her father, and ever since she saw that pill she’s wanted to rip his face off for sending Cassian into situations where he might need it.

 _Like this one_ , her mind traitorously suggests as she storms down the frosty hallway toward the hangar bay, but she tries to shove the thought away.

There had been no need for suicide pills in Saw’s rebellion. Maybe it was implied in the blasters that everyone carried, but the Empire never tried to capture them. Perhaps they just didn’t have any secrets worth the effort. But Cassian Andor – well, he would be a treasure trove of intel, and it would be tempting for an informant to double-cross and sell him to the highest bidder.

And he’s twenty-seven days overdue. What he called a routine check-in of no more than five or six days has gone wildly, _impossibly_ long. He hasn’t transmitted a message back to Base since day three. His ship is too far away to track. For all intents and purposes, he’s a ghost.

Jyn is going to be sick. She wraps her fist around the crystal hanging from her neck, reaching out to anyone that is listening. _Bring him back to me._

“There you are!” Bodhi yanks her out of her thoughts, his big brown eyes even bigger than usual. “I’ve been looking for you. I just heard that Cassian’s ship dropped out of hyperspace five minutes ago. He’s inbound right now.”

“Bodhi –” She can’t get the thanks out, but she squeezes his arm before she takes off running.

Cassian’s ship has clearly just landed as she skids into the hangar bay, so she cuts a straight line toward it, ignoring the startled looks of everyone she blows past. The pressure vents release jets of steam when the ship’s entry ramp opens to reveal Cassian already waiting to disembark.

Jyn barely checks her speed as he takes a few steps to meet her. She crashes into his arms, sending him staggering back from the impact. He loses his footing and they collapse onto the exit ramp, although it’s at such a steep angle that he’s practically sitting with her in his lap.

The fall startles her and she immediately fears an injury – but he’s laughing, one hand in her hair and the other on her hip as he drops back to rest his shoulders on the ramp, too.

“I thought you were captured,” Jyn says. “And that you – you –”

“I _was_ captured,” he says, and her heart stops. “Local law enforcement booked me for carrying in a no-weapons zone and kept me in holding for three weeks, pending trial. My cover held up, but it took Kay that long to break me out.”

She can tell that he’s lost a few kilos that he really couldn’t spare, but he’s alive and home and he smells terrible and he’s lying underneath her and he’s _alive._ Tears spring into her eyes and instead of dashing them away, she leans down and kisses him, right there in the middle of the hangar bay.

His fingers scorch the small of her back as he answers her hungrily, pulling her even closer. Jyn hears a lascivious wolf whistle from someone she assumes is Han and replies with a rude hand gesture behind her back while she smothers Cassian’s chuckle with another kiss.

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” he says. “But I knew that I would come back to you.”

“Welcome home,” she whispers against his lips, smiling as he kisses the words out of her mouth.


End file.
